Jacob Wohl promises to enlist if U.S. goes to war with Iran

Energetic but ineffectual young conservative operative Jacob Wohl is all-in on the prospect of war with Iran. Wohl is so into the idea, he told Right Richter that he’ll enlist in the military if the United States goes to war.

“If we go to war with Iran, I will enlist within 10 days,” Wohl said in an Instagram direct message.

Wohl says he’ll consider the United States at war with Iran if Congress authorizes the war or Trump uses a previous military authorization to attack. As for what branch he’ll join, Wohl says “probably the Army.”

Wohl’s hypothetical future platoon-mates might want to be aware that Wohl has a reputation for failing spectacularly. Last year, he teamed up with lobbyist Jack Burkman to smear special counsel Robert Mueller with a sexual assault allegation that completely collapsed when the alleged victim failed to show, then accused Wohl of making it all up. In April, The Daily Beast caught Wohl and Burkman trying to manufacture a similar allegation against Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg.

Any military recruiters, meanwhile, might be interested in Wohl’s history of faking death threats against himself, then reporting the bogus threats to law enforcement. In March, Wohl was caught faking threats with a dummy Twitter account during a trip to Minneapolis.

Wohl’s support for war with Iran puts him out of step with many of his fellow provocateurs in the pro-Trump “New Right,” many of whom have claimed Trump is being led by his advisers into war. Conservative personality and brain pill entrepreneur Mike Cernovich and One American News reporter Jack Posobiec, for example, have criticized the push for war with Iran.

While Wohl claims he’s ready to go to war, he’s been now with various 2020 plans. After telling Right Richter about his promise to enlist, Wohl pivoted to bragging about his new plan: getting dirt on Joe Biden.

Apple moves to crack down on conservative’s favorite new social network

The right’s favorite new social media site may soon be in trouble with Apple.

Parler, a social media app that had billed itself as a free speech Twitter alternative for conservatives, said Tuesday that Apple had moved to boot its app from the App Store for having “offensive content.” Founder John Matze said Apple stopped them from updating their app after he refused to take down the offensive material.

Being kicked from the App Store would be a serious blow to Parler, which has been embraced by a number of pro-Trump personalities angry at more popular social media platforms. Earlier this month, the Trump campaign was reportedly even mulling setting up an account for Trump on the platform as a way to get revenge on Twitter.

Apple didn’t respond to requests for comment.

Parler running afoul of Apple’s content rules was no surprise to Gab, the other major right-wing social media network and a trash-talking Parler rival. Gab founder Andrew Torba has frequently made the point that Apple will crack down on alternative social media platforms over content, saying that Parler has only avoided clashing with Apple in the past because few people used it.

Screenshot via Twitter

“WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS?” Gab tweeted on Tuesday, after Matze said Parler was on the verge of being kicked out of the App Store.

On Wednesday, Matze wrote on Parler that Apple had started allowing new updates to his app. Predicting a future Apple attempt to ban Parler, though, Matze urged Parler users to catalog pro-terrorist content on Twitter and Facebook. The theory, it seems, is that Parler will then use that to convince Apple that if they ban Parler, they’ll also have to ban apps from Twitter and Facebook for having their own offensive content.

“In my opinion, this is them buying time to ban us when it’s more convenient,” Matze wrote.

Q followers really into Adam Sandler now

The mysterious “Q” behind QAnon hasn’t left their followers any cryptic clues for nearly a month, leaving believers increasingly shaken — and convinced that Trump’s July 4th festivities in Washington will see the reveal some big secret.

But there’s something else riling up QAnon fans this summer: Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston’s new Netflix comedy, Murder Mystery.

This frothy flick, in which Sandler and Aniston play a husband and wife implicated in the murder of a billionaire, has become a rallying cry for QAnon fans convinced it’s filled with secret QAnon clues. They’re particularly interested in the appearance of the letter “Q” throughout the movie, mostly on pillows and robes.

Screenshot via Twitter

“Take this as a sign, a further indication that Patriots are ultimately in control,” declared popular QAnon Twitter promoter @QAnon76, who added that the appearance of Q’s throughout Murder Mystery is an attempt at “deprogramming” the population before the big QAnon reveal.

Screenshot via Twitter

I had the poor judgment to watch this movie a few weeks ago, so I can assure you that the Q’s are not a signal from Sandler that Trump is about to imprison Hillary Clinton in Guantanamo Bay. Instead, the Q’s refer to “Malcolm Quince,” the fictional rich guy whose murder closes out the movie’s first act. He’s a rich guy! He’s got his initial all over his yacht!

That obvious explanation hasn’t stopped QAnon believers from becoming big fans of Murder Mystery. On Wednesday, a QAnon fan tweeted screenshots from the movie and tried to tag John F. Kennedy Jr. — who many QAnon believers think is still alive and working in concert with Q.

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