1.  Criminal Probe Launched Into Secret Service’s Missing Texts

 HEATING UP 

The Department of Homeland Security ordered the Secret Service to stop its internal investigations Wednesday while a criminal investigation is underway.

POLITICS

2.  Outtakes Showing Trump Struggling in Jan. 7 Speech Will Air

  TRY AGAIN 

The filming of the three-minute speech a day after the deadly riot was apparently not an easy task.

POLITICS

Teacher Charged for Slapping Child So Hard His Eye Swelled

  ‘GO WITH YOUR GUT’ 

The mother of the 2-year-old boy said the blood vessels on his ear were broken, his eye was swollen and his nose was bruised.

U.S. NEWS

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3.  New York Reports First U.S. Polio Case in Almost a Decade

 UH OH 

The case in Rockland County was confirmed by the New York State Health Department.

U.S. NEWS

4.  Cop SHOOTS Dead a 15-Foot Snake Coiled Around a Man’s Neck

 ‘HORROR MOVIE’ 

One officer was able to shoot the snake in the head and pull the victim, who was suffering from cardiac arrest, to safety.

U.S. NEWS

YouTube Says It Will Vanish ‘False Claims’ About Abortion

 DELETE 

That includes instructions for unsafe abortion methods or disinformation about abortion safety.

TECH

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5.  Meghan Made Kate Cry Over Charlotte’s Dress, New Book Claims

 READ IT AND WEEP 

The tale of the world’s most controversial bridesmaid fitting rumbles on.

ARTS AND CULTURE

6.  Morphew Gets Off Light for Voting for Trump in Wife’s Name

 SLAP ON THE WRIST 

He pleaded guilty to forgery in a plea agreement Thursday, receiving just a year of probation and community service.

U.S. NEWS

7.  Dancers Say Gaga’s ‘Toxic’ Choreographer Drove Some to Quit

 ‘A NIGHTMARE’ 

“He abused me; he embarrassed me; he made me feel terrible in the workplace, just because he could,” one dancer said.

ENTERTAINMENT

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8.  Boat Packed With 150 Migrants Found Off Florida Coast

 TO THE BRIM 

The Coast Guard hasn’t yet determined where the migrants are from.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Denver Cops Admit They F-Ed Up by Firing at Crowd, Hitting 6

  ‘SOMETHING WENT WRONG’ 

Three officers fired seven rounds near the crowd to disarm a man they say was pointing a gun at them, but six bystanders were wounded in the process.

U.S. NEWS

10.  House Passes Bill Protecting Right to Contraception

 ABORTION FIGHT 

The bill passed largely along party lines, with only eight Republicans joining Democrats in support. However it is almost certainly doomed to fail in the Senate.

POLITICS

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11.  Couple Arrested in a $1.7 Million International Wine Heist

 MADE FOR TV 

A former Mexican beauty queen and a Romanian-Dutch man sent detectives on a nine-month chase through Europe.

WORLD

12.  Amber Heard Files Notice to Appeal in Defamation Saga

 IT DRAGS ON 

Of the notice to appeal, a spokesperson for Heard said that clerical errors “prevented a just and fair verdict.”

ENTERTAINMENT

13.  Thomas Lane Gets 2.5 Yrs for Violating Floyd’s Civil Rights

 SERVING TIME 

Federal prosecutors had asked for a sentence of at least five years and three months.

U.S. NEWS

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