1. Evidence Suggests Djokovic’s COVID Diagnosis Was BS

BACKHANDED

The serial numbers on the tennis star’s two COVID test results gave it away.

ENTERTAINMENT

2. Pence Says Trump Has Totally Ghosted Him Since Last Summer

COLD SHOULDER

It seems Donald Trump has made good on his threat to end his friendship with the former vice president.

POLITICS

3. Cut Out Meal Planning and Get Straight to the Good Part

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SCOUTED

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4. Judge Denies Rittenhouse’s Request to Get His Gun Back

TO THE SMELTER

The gun will be destroyed by the state.

U.S. NEWS

5. W.V. Guv Trots Out Dog’s Tush to Stick It to Bette Midler

SHOWED HER!

Gov. Jim Justice held up his dog as part of his stunt—for the entire state legislature to see.

POLITICS

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6. Dyson’s New Vacuum Lets Me Clean My Home Using Lasers

SUCK IT UP

The vacuum is the best one Dyson has ever made. Here’s why.

SCOUTED

7. Penn. Court Declares Mail-In Voting Law Unconstitutional

2020 NEVER ENDS

The case was brought by a county commissioner and GOP lawmakers, many of whom voted for the law in the first place.

POLITICS

8. Kansas Dem Accused of DUI Walks Away With Traffic Infraction

SLAP ON THE WRIST

The young lawmaker has had a controversial few months. Before the suspected DUI, Coleman was arrested on battery charges and accused of abusing his ex-girlfriend.

U.S. NEWS

9. And Now Dan Bongino Gets Booted From Google Ads

‘DEMONSTRABLY FALSE’

The right-wing pundit can add Google ads to the list of platforms that have barred him over COVID misinfo.

MEDIA

10. Cops Say Woman Set Deadly Vegas Fire Over Cheating Claim

UP IN FLAMES

Tiffany Willis allegedly told authorities she didn’t mean to kill another woman and was only trying to scare her “on and off again” boyfriend.

U.S. NEWS

11. Joe Exotic Gets One Year Shaved Off Prison Sentence

SMALL VICTORIES

The “Tiger King” star was convicted of attempting to hire two people, including an undercover FBI agent, to murder Carole Baskin, an outspoken animal rights activist.

U.S. NEWS

12. Cops: 17-Year-Old Speedster in BMW Kills Six in DUI Crash

FAST AND FATAL

The teen was under the influence of either drugs or alcohol, police said.

U.S. NEWS

13. 17-Year-Old Shot by Cops After Falling Asleep in Car

TOO YOUNG

The teen struck a cop car while driving away from the officers, who’d noticed a handgun in his front seat, according to police.

U.S. NEWS

14. Aussie Millionaire Extradited Over Massive Horoscope Scam

THE STARS AREN’T ALIGNED

The dual Australian-Russian citizen Eugeni “Zhenya” Tsvetnenko allegedly defrauded cell phone users of more than $40 million by secretly auto-subscribing them to payments.

U.S. NEWS

15. Fish Obliterated as Samsung Dumps Sulfuric Acid in TX River

ENVIRONMENTAL CRISIS

Officials in Austin said 763,000 gallons of acid spilled into the river over 106 days.

U.S. NEWS

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